(rambling post ahead!)

so, first off, apologies for the dire lack of music posts on a daily basis. i had a great run of being able to get those done easily, but now my kids are involved in lots of school and sports and MY GOD, ARE THOSE THINGS TIME SUCKS. i’m also trying my best to fit in decent writing time in an effort to get one of my books finished and a sequel to another polished up, so i am considering now going to an every other day sort of thing, except when i do find those lovely bits of time to be able to post daily.

apologies also for this post for not being a music one, either.

as many of you know, i’m a writer and i’m currently in the process of having one of my books edited. this, friends, is a terrifying experience on a lot of levels – mainly, because it’s a waiting game and i am no good at waiting. i never have been, which truly sucks. my editor comes highly recommended after much research into the matter, and she informed me that she’d really only contact me during the process if she had major problems with the work. so on that hand, hooray! although now i’m considering i just jinxed myself by even saying that. but still, the radio silence is brutal at times, especially to one prone to an overactive imagination.

but here’s another one of my problems – the fear of it being liked versus unliked.

every writer writes what they want to read – or, at least, that’s what they ought to be doing. and that’s what i did, with codename AMOF. the interesting thing that i think a lot of people don’t really get is just how attached to characters an author gets. i mean, we know these people we write. we know what makes them tick, what makes them happy and sad and so furious they can barely speak. we know their inner hopes and their greatest fears, and we care. it sounds ridiculous on paper (ha – no pun intended. at least, not really), but these characters become friends.

they become real.

authors fall in love with their characters. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read on other author blogs about how enamored they become with their characters, and i’m no different. it’s a patently ridiculous thing for a person to admit, for me to admit, but when you get this close to the people you create, the ones you hear in your head and see clear as day in your mind, you do develop warm, fuzzy feelings towards them. each new story brings new crushes and new sets of worries. case in point – i actually sobbed (yes, sobbed) when i did something awful to one of my favorite characters.

so, when you present these people, these characters, to the world (or your writing group or friends or family or whoever), you can’t help but feel leery and protective of them. each time somebody reads one of my stories, i think, and hope, “was a connection made?”

logically, i know there are going to be people who don’t connect with my characters, who don’t find them compelling or interesting. i know this. it’s just going to happen, because that’s just how things are. nothing is universally loved, nothing universally guaranteed. but it doesn’t mean i’m not just the wee bit nervous about them in the hands of my editor, because the truth is, i want her to like them.

and yet, i have to wait to find out.